Revenge of the Telemarketing Victims

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Revenge of the Telemarketing Victims - How to Convince Them to Never Call You Back

By Les Golden. Cartoons by Les Golden. Additional illustrations by John Thomson and Erik Wenzel.

This hilarious tongue-in-cheek “guide” to getting rid of the annoyance posed by the telemarketing industry, written by Les Golden of Oak Park, Illinois, is guaranteed to solve that yecchy problem.

Forget the useless national do-not-call list. a writer, actor, and stand-up comic trained in improvisation at chicago's second city, les golden has written scripts between telemarketers and homeowners to guarantee they won't call again.

Make them think they’ve reached –

  • a drug dealer
  • an organized crime enforcer henchman
  • a psychotic being pursued by that man in the phone booth
  • a guy who will buy everything and anything they have to offer
  • a lonely homeowner wanting to talk endlessly with anyone
  • an alien
  • a guy looking for a job so he can send money back to the old country to bring his family to "amerika"

Les Golden has devised uproarious situations to waste the #@%(&?#! telemarketer’s most precious asset – his time! This book will provide you hours of laughs as you discover ways to get rid of those pesky unwanted callers.

Yessssss, revenge of the telemarketing victims!!

Read the scenes out loud at parties or at home . . . use as comedy audition dialogues for actors . . . give as the perfect fun gift . . . or use as a script when you get those calls!

Every technique laboratory-tested . . . proven effective!

Note: Publisher's Legal Disclosure

This book is outrageous, iconoclastic, offensive, and in questionable taste.

It’s infantile, sophomoric, racist, sexist, ageist, homophobic, sacrilegious, and bigoted. it is shameless, scurrilous, vile, repugnant, reprehensible, ignominious, putrid, abhorrent, loathsome, contemptible, and nauseous.

The author should have his mouth washed out with soap and his brain vacuumed clean, and he must be vanquished from modern society. he is dangerous, seditious, and a threat to freedom-loving citizens and children.

Author's Rebuttal

In other words, I’ve written the perfect book, exactly what you need to make sure those #@%(&?#!! telemarketers will take you off their lists!

Purchase Information

Available at fine book stores,, and American distributor Digital Impressions.


External links

  • [1] Home Page
  • [2] An Interview With Les Golden
  • [3] N.E.A.R.
  • [4] U.C. Jazz
  • [5] KALX Radio 90.7 FM
  • [6] Illinois Authors Listing
  • [7] World Catalog Listing
  • [8] Collected Writings
  • [9] Library Thing Listing
  • [10] Authors Den Listing
  • [11] Theiapolis listing as actor
  • [12] Cartoonist listing at Comiclopedia
  • [13] CreativeHotList